Whether we’ve been married for many years, training to start a family, or dating someone we hope to share the rest of our lives with, problems in our relationships can be challenging on many levels.
One thing to remember if you are facing relationship issues is that no two relationships are the same. Often, we compare our situation and experience with others’, which can lead to a sense of shame about our perceived shortcomings.
However, it is important to recognise that even when a relationship looks perfect from the outside, experience shows this is very rarely the case. Everybody has their own quirks, histories, emotional baggage, and value systems, so whenever two people come together, these things are bound to present conflict in at least one area for couples.
For many couples, confronting these conflicts is the last thing we want to do. We may worry about opening ourselves up to criticism from our partner, worsening existing problems, being misunderstood, creating a hostile atmosphere, or even inadvertently causing a break up.
This is why it can be so helpful to know how relationship counselling and therapy works.
If you value your relationship, no matter what challenges you’re facing, there is no need to give up hope or resign yourself to an unhappy situation.
Although an experienced relationship counsellor will be able to guide and support you through any issue, some areas that people seek help for in relationship and couples counselling or therapy include:
Because we all have different communication styles, the majority of relationship issues will boil down to this most fundamental issue.
If you feel like your partner has expectations which confuse you, if they say one thing but you suspect they mean another, or if you find yourselves frequently bickering about the same topics without reaching a compromise, then the root of your problem may be a clash of communication styles.
In one way or another, every healthy relationship involves a level of intimacy. When problems cause this intimacy to become strained or withdrawn, it can not only affect how we feel about our partner, but also how we feel about ourselves.
Although it can be difficult to open up about things like sexual difficulties, self esteem, honesty, and trust, your counsellor or therapist can provide a safe and private place to discuss how these matters affect your relationship.
Another triggering factor can be family members. Whether the in-laws are difficult to get along with, or you and your partner experience contrasting methods of parenting, family can sometimes do the opposite of holding a relationship together.
Questioning whether or not you should stay together for the sake of your children is also a profound and stressful decision to make without guidance.
Other issues may include controlling or abusive behaviour, infidelity, or simply feeling unappreciated by your partner. But whatever your reason for seeking help or support, a well-trained couples counsellor or therapist will always approach these issues with sensitivity and respect for your personal boundaries.
To get a clearer picture of what outcomes you can expect, it may help for clients to visualise what their counselling or therapy sessions will look like.
Before your counsellor or therapist can begin to guide and support you towards a positive outcome, you can expect a sensitive and respectful conversation about the current state of your relationship, including what you’re unhappy with and other contributing factors. This could also cover the history of your relationship, the things that do work well, and aspects of your personal history and experience that may be relevant.
For some of us, opening up like this can be a daunting concept. However, once your counsellor or therapist has a good idea of where you’re coming from, the focus will then shift to helping clients achieve the happy relationship they desire.
If you’re open to discussion and considering new ways of addressing your issues, you can then work together on the development of strategies to reach your goals.
With this professional support and guidance, you can expect to see changes such as:
Better Communication
Understanding which parts of your conflicts with a partner are caused by miscommunication or a difficulty with expressing wants and needs can be a revelation.
When this is addressed in a positive way, you may find that you can talk to your partner more meaningfully, negotiate and compromise more effectively, support each other, and express yourself in a way that fosters a more loving relationship.
Strengthened Bond
Although it can be uncomfortable at times, counselling and therapy services in regards to intimacy will often lead to breakthroughs that help clients reconnect with their partner.
The emotional barriers we construct to protect ourselves are often helpful to begin with, but when they result in trust issues, sexual difficulties, or other problems with intimacy, our relationships tend to suffer. Breaking down these barriers through relationship counselling or couples therapy will often result in a stronger bond with your partner.
Improved Mental Health
From family grievances causing stress, to a lack of affection causing low self esteem, relationship problems are bound to take a toll on our mental health.
If you find yourself dealing with persistent low moods, anger, depression, feeling smothered or lonely, or using self-destructive behaviour to cope, then relationship counselling and therapy can provide the support you need. With a skilled counsellor, and life coach, you can expect all the mental health benefits that come with a happier, healthier relationship.
Attending counselling sessions as a couple will give your counsellor or therapist a clear overview of your relationship. It shows them how couples interact with each other, as well as how your perception of the relationship may differ. This allows them to take all things into consideration when they offer their support, advice, training, and strategies.
Although you may have a good understanding of what you’d like to fix, the most helpful relationship and couples counselling services depend on an unbiased and transparent approach, which means that both partners should feel involved. So, ideally, your partner will be open to improve their relationship as well.
However, once your counsellor has gotten to know you both, you may decide to shift to one-on-one counselling and therapy sessions for training and support over time.
Please note, there are some situations which make it difficult to attend sessions together in the first place. For example, if your issues revolve around an abusive partner, or if you would like to discuss something that you don’t feel comfortable talking about in front of them, then another, more personal form of individual counselling or therapy may be appropriate for you.
For relationship counselling and couples therapy that provides you with all the insight, training, support, and understanding you need to revive your relationship, SHYNE Wellness in Melbourne is here to help.
Our life coach and counsellor at SHYNE Wellness comes highly qualified, highly trained, and highly recommended. Certified in areas like anxiety and stress management, healing from trauma, and all forms of relationship and couples counselling and therapy including family, parenting, and marriage counselling, the range of services at SHYNE Wellness is able to recommend effective counselling and therapy services for couples in need of support.
Regaining the spark in your relationship may seem like a lost cause, but with SHYNE Wellness, based in Melbourne, you’re bound to find an approach that works for you. With services covering many different styles of counselling from spiritual practices to neuroscience, you can transform your relationships in ways that positively impact every sphere of your life.
Located in Melbourne, SHYNE Wellness is founded by counsellor and life coach Poli. A member of the Australian Counselling Association and International Coaching Federation, Poli specialises in the mental health and relationships of adolescents, couples, adults and families. With extensive qualifications and training across a broad range of counselling and therapy techniques, she works closely with clients to find the most practical and personalised approach for them.
If you’re considering relationship counselling in Melbourne, just phone 0417 616 406 or email info@shynewellness.com.au to book an appointment. Join our satisfied clients and learn how Poli and SHYNE Wellness can help you to rekindle your relationships today!
The reality is we all have feelings and emotions and we all need healthy outlets to explore, understand, express and grow from these feelings and emotions.
Poli can help you start this process.
Poli is a multi-talented and committed Counsellor and Life Coach who is sincerely passionate about supporting her clients through their issues. Poli is a member of the Australian Counselling Association and International Coaching Federation and has assisted clients worldwide. She specialises in working with adolescents, couples, adults and families. Poli provides practical support that a client can use immediately to help them move forward in life.
Poli is a very warm, understanding and patient Counsellor and Life Coach who truly enjoys seeing her clients achieve success in their life. She listens compassionately and guides the client using forward thinking techniques that help them create a better future for themselves. Her extensive educational training gives her the ability to listen and coach clients through their problems in a way in which they feel empowered and inspired.
Poli offers a wide range of expertise in areas such as couples, relationship, marriage and family counselling and life coaching. Her skill set also includes communication, goal setting, anxiety, depression, stress, mental health, mindfulness, life balance, motivation, confidence, advice, healing, trauma, well-being, mentoring, self-development, and mindset strategies. Poli is a certified Counsellor, Emotionally Focused Therapist, a certified Master Life Coach, a certified NLP Master Practitioner, Archetype Coach, a Reiki Master, and is proficient in mindfulness meditation, A.C.T therapy, Palmistry, and Face Reading. Poli is affiliated with and registered under the International Coach Federation and the Australian Counselling Association.
If you’re unable to schedule an appointment and are feeling overwhelmed and would like immediate counselling and support, please call (0417 616 406).
Rebecca Kennedy | |
With such a broad unique skill set you can’t be in safer hands. Poli is so warm and approachable you feel at ease right from the outset. I highly recommend Poli, she genuinely cares about her clients and is invested in helping you achieve a positive outcome. She is a wonder! |
Julie O’Brien | |
Poli is truly a gifted and extraordinary visionary. Her humble character truly is an outstanding quality. Poli has a unique approach of being able to pinpoint the problem quickly and lead the individual to clarity and deep awareness. My personal experience has been enlightening and enabled me to shift through deep emotional blocks quickly. I rarely use the word Guru, yet in this case I would describe Poli as an enlightened Guru of soul blueprints, who truly is servants heart for those seeking deep insights and emotional healing. |
Liv | |
I have really appreciated Poli’s guidance over the last few months which has allowed me to make positive changes in my life and mindset. She intuitively knows when to say the right thing and also to challenge you in a kind and respectful manner. I would highly recommend her to anyone that is looking to make changes toward living a more authentic life. |
Tünel Hulusi | |
The moment you meet Poli, you feel her warmth and energy around you like a big hug. Poli has played an integral role in helping me navigate this thing we call “life”… her guidance brings logic and comfort to the ebbs and flows of our journey and there is no one else I’d want as my beacon of light through it all. From the very bottom of my heart, with infinite gratitude, always- T x |
Rachael | |
I have been searching for years for a genuine counsellor that has the knowledge and expertise that Poli has. She is as genuine as they come, tells it as is it and has the knowledge to back it up while still remaining caring and compassionate. I feel very lucky to have been supported by Poli at a time when it made a world of difference. I feel like I owe her so much. Thank you for everything Poli, your support has meant more than you will ever know. We need more people like this in the world. |
Ruby Robertson | |
After years of talking therapy, with not many results, Poli was recommended to me. She has an ability to empathise like no professional I have met, which did finally produce results. |
Emily Orcullo | |
I had the opportunity to do peer coaching with Poli and she truly comes with a wealth of experience in this space. She is a highly intuitive coach, she can draw out what is underlying behind the problem. Thank you, Poli! |
Prince Dib | |
Poli’s unwavering support and guidance has been a blessing through difficult times and she has been paramount in the growth in so many places in my life. Thank you Poli! |
Bron.e | |
Poli’s extensive knowledge, experience, care and compassion are the gifts she brings to every session where she gently guides me to explore and question things that are challenging me or holding me back. For me, each session builds on the last and I feel so privileged to have found Poli to help me become the best version of myself. I can’t thank you enough Poli for everything you do and all that you are. 🌻 |
Laudie Lambert | |
I have known Poli for many years and without a doubt, she has helped me in my darkest hours!
She is warm, caring and very in tune with what triggers anxiety and panic attacks, and to this day, cannot thank her enough! I highly recommend Poli and am positive you will be more than satisfied with your consultation and communication with her! Laudie Lambert |
Tini Ch | |
Poli is a very skilled and compassionate professional who has allowed me to speak freely, without judgement. She is helping me understand the root cause of my actions and reactions. Poli has given me a safe place to examine my feelings and behaviours and her counsel and advice is invaluable. Thank you Poli. |
yael kollan | |
Poli is very rare in her field. She has the ability to analyze the situation and know exactly what is going on. Through her extensive clinical experience, she allows the patient to observe himself sincerely. Poli has the ability to change your life! Highly recommended!!! |
Sim Stevens | |
Poli is an extraordinary woman with an amazing ability to read people and their needs. The way in which Poli communicates with people is calming and reassuring, while always encouraging you to live your best life with new and wonderful skills. 🙂 |
Bevan East | |
I’ve been a patient here for a few years, particularly of the psychology department with Poli. To say I have found it extremely beneficial is an understatement. I have developed skills and an understanding of myself that is difficult to describe. But has had a monumental impact on my life. Starting out with high levels of anxiety and depression, my ability to control my emotions and harness abilities more effectively has seen positive aspects in my social life, relationships, work life and studies. I would recommend this clinic to anyone who wants to solve their problems, improve their life and or more effectively and efficiently communicate. |