We all experience loss at some point in our lives and for many of us, it will have a profound effect on our day to day lives. Grief is something we all experience differently, and we can never put a timeline on the grieving process. If you’re feeling overwhelmed after the loss of a loved one, seeking professional grief counselling can be a way to get your thoughts and feelings out, helping with the grief process.
The death of a loved one, whether expected or not, can start a range of feelings, and as you move through the process, your feelings will change. You may experience feelings that you never thought you would, and it is not unusual to not know how to deal with these feelings.
There are four main types of grief that people can go through.
Anticipatory grief – a sense of loss before the loss has occurred. This may be seen in those with a loved one with a terminal illness or suffering advanced dementia.
‘Normal’ grief – while there is no one way of grieving, this refers to the more natural grief experienced.
Complicated grief – grief that is prolonged and results in mental health and emotional concerns.
Disenfranchised grief – this refers to grief that other people do not know you are going through. It is experienced privately and is often the grief suffered by those who have lost a pregnancy that other people were unaware of, as an example.
The Stages of Grief
Grief isn’t just a feeling of sadness. Most people will go through what is known as the ‘stages of grief’ and will include feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, regret, and yearning. There is often also confusion through the grieving process. If you have had a family member or friend pass away from a painful illness or accident, you may mourn their passing, however, at the same time, feel a sense of relief that they are no longer in pain.
Trying to make sense of your loss is common; many people find they bounce between different thoughts after the passing of their loved ones. These thoughts can go from soothing (telling yourself the person had a good life) to frustrating (telling yourself it wasn’t their time, and they had more living to do). It is not unusual to find someone placing responsibility on themselves, particularly if there was nothing they could do to help.
You may find that your grief and your progress through the grieving process is different to your family and friends, and this is normal. Everyone goes through the process in their own time.
Common Reactions to Grief
There are some common reactions to grief. While they present themselves in different ways for different people, these are the emotions and behaviours that are considered to be part of the natural grieving process.
Feelings of disbelief, confusion, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, and relief
Loss of appetite
Loss of concentration and focus
Little interest in daily life
Feelings of numbness
It is very common for these feelings to show up at any time, and while they may be common, speaking to an experienced grief counsellor can help you navigate these feelings.
Recovering from Grief
The death of a loved one is hard – both your physical and mental health can be affected and if you are unable to speak to anyone about your thoughts and feelings, the process of grieving could take longer and affect you further.
Seeking professional help for dealing with your grief can help you through the adjustment period, as well as giving you someone to support you through the tough moments.
It’s important to understand that grief isn’t something you ever really recover from. It is always there, and grief counselling won’t make you forget about your loved ones. Time however is a healer, and overtime it can help you come to terms with what has happened.
Prolonged Grief – What You Can Do
Prolonged grief, otherwise known as complicated grief, is a persistent form of bereavement that lasts for more than a year. It is grief that stops you from going about your daily life and dominates your thoughts.
Symptoms of prolonged grief include:
Extreme sadness and emotional pain
A feeling of emptiness
A feeling of hopelessness
Yearning to be with the deceased person again
Constantly thinking about the deceased person and their death
Unable to bring up happy memories of your loved one
Avoiding things that reminded you of your loved one
Losing your identity
Isolating yourself from family and friends
Unable to pursue the things you enjoy
How Shyne Wellness Can Help
At Shyne Wellness, we understand grief, and we understand that the grieving process is different for everyone. Our grief counsellors come highly qualified with years of experience in helping people through the grief process after the loss of a loved one.
Whether you have lost a parent, a sibling, a husband, a child or your best friend, Shyne Wellness can help you through this time.
Getting the help you need doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
The reality is we all have feelings and emotions and we all need healthy outlets to explore, understand, express and grow from these feelings and emotions.
Poli can help you start this process.
Explore mixed feelings
Achieve clarity and acknowledgement
Learn effective communication strategies
Support more positive thinking
Inspire effective problem-solving
Boost self-confidence and self-esteem
Explore the balance between personal goals and relationship priorities
Counsellor and Life Coach
Poli is a multi-talented and committed Counsellor and Life Coach who is sincerely passionate about supporting her clients through their issues. Poli is a member of the Australian Counselling Association and International Coaching Federation and has assisted clients worldwide. She specialises in working with adolescents, couples, adults and families. Poli provides practical support that a client can use immediately to help them move forward in life.
Poli is a very warm, understanding and patient Counsellor and Life Coach who truly enjoys seeing her clients achieve success in their life. She listens compassionately and guides the client using forward thinking techniques that help them create a better future for themselves. Her extensive educational training gives her the ability to listen and coach clients through their problems in a way in which they feel empowered and inspired.
International Coach Federation
Australian Counselling Association
The American Board of NLP
The Australian Board of NLP
Australian Reiki Association
Time Line Therapy Association
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Book an appointment today.
If you’re unable to schedule an appointment and are feeling overwhelmed and would like immediate counselling and support, please call (0417 616 406).