We all experience loss at some point in our lives and for many of us, it will have a profound effect on our day to day lives. Grief is something we all experience differently, and we can never put a timeline on the grieving process. If you’re feeling overwhelmed after the loss of a loved one, seeking professional grief counselling can be a way to get your thoughts and feelings out, helping with the grief process.
The death of a loved one, whether expected or not, can start a range of feelings, and as you move through the process, your feelings will change. You may experience feelings that you never thought you would, and it is not unusual to not know how to deal with these feelings.
There are four main types of grief that people can go through.
Anticipatory grief – a sense of loss before the loss has occurred. This may be seen in those with a loved one with a terminal illness or suffering advanced dementia.
‘Normal’ grief – while there is no one way of grieving, this refers to the more natural grief experienced.
Complicated grief – grief that is prolonged and results in mental health and emotional concerns.
Disenfranchised grief – this refers to grief that other people do not know you are going through. It is experienced privately and is often the grief suffered by those who have lost a pregnancy that other people were unaware of, as an example.
Grief isn’t just a feeling of sadness. Most people will go through what is known as the ‘stages of grief’ and will include feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, regret, and yearning. There is often also confusion through the grieving process. If you have had a family member or friend pass away from a painful illness or accident, you may mourn their passing, however, at the same time, feel a sense of relief that they are no longer in pain.
Trying to make sense of your loss is common; many people find they bounce between different thoughts after the passing of their loved ones. These thoughts can go from soothing (telling yourself the person had a good life) to frustrating (telling yourself it wasn’t their time, and they had more living to do). It is not unusual to find someone placing responsibility on themselves, particularly if there was nothing they could do to help.
You may find that your grief and your progress through the grieving process is different to your family and friends, and this is normal. Everyone goes through the process in their own time.
There are some common reactions to grief. While they present themselves in different ways for different people, these are the emotions and behaviours that are considered to be part of the natural grieving process.
It is very common for these feelings to show up at any time, and while they may be common, speaking to an experienced grief counsellor can help you navigate these feelings.
The death of a loved one is hard – both your physical and mental health can be affected and if you are unable to speak to anyone about your thoughts and feelings, the process of grieving could take longer and affect you further.
Seeking professional help for dealing with your grief can help you through the adjustment period, as well as giving you someone to support you through the tough moments.
It’s important to understand that grief isn’t something you ever really recover from. It is always there, and grief counselling won’t make you forget about your loved ones. Time however is a healer, and overtime it can help you come to terms with what has happened.
Prolonged grief, otherwise known as complicated grief, is a persistent form of bereavement that lasts for more than a year. It is grief that stops you from going about your daily life and dominates your thoughts.
Symptoms of prolonged grief include:
At Shyne Wellness, we understand grief, and we understand that the grieving process is different for everyone. Our grief counsellors come highly qualified with years of experience in helping people through the grief process after the loss of a loved one.
Whether you have lost a parent, a sibling, a husband, a child or your best friend, Shyne Wellness can help you through this time.
Make an online booking, or call us to book on 0417 616 406.